Are you keeping yourself busy to avoid your emotions? Do you find yourself coasting through your to-do list every day? A 2018 Pew Research survey found that 6 in 10 adults in the United States said they feel too busy to enjoy life sometimes. For some, this might be a coping mechanism to avoid their feelings. We have the tendency to pack our schedules so we do not feel our emotions and because western society shaped us to be proud to be "busy". If you find yourself keeping busy, it might be that you use this as a way to avoid or numb out painful feelings and situations. What if we had the chance to slow down and feel our emotions instead?
How being Busy Prevents us from Dealing with our Emotions and the Effects This Has On Us
It’s important to watch out for the thin line between being busy and creating a busy schedule to avoid emotions. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant explains that “avoided behavior suppresses your unwanted feelings resulting in a buildup of emotions that can manifest into anger, frustration, resentment, isolation, and many other unhealthy mental states”. In addition to impacting your emotional health, it can also cause restlessness, insomnia, headaches, and more. Creating such a demanding schedule also leaves no time for social connection which can also leave you feeling lonely. Oftentimes we love to stay busy because we were taught that being productive is a good thing. Dr. Bryant even says that “being productive releases endorphins known as “happy” hormones”. However, staying busy prevents us from dealing with our emotions because it keeps our mind off of them. The need to stay busy all the time keeps you away from feeling, thinking, and acting on your negative emotions.
Do We Tend to Get More Busy when we're Avoiding Something we're Going Through?
Have you ever noticed that you somehow have a much busier schedule when you are going through something challenging like a break up or trauma? This might be a sign that you are avoiding those heavier emotions. You often might find yourself filling your schedule to the brim after a break up, but don’t forget to make time to address those emotions. If you don’t, it could affect your current social relationships even more. You might find yourself feeling isolated and lonely, and those around you may feel rejected or angry with your lack of availability.Your other relationships might suffer more because of it. When you’re going through something tough, the answer is never to completely avoid it.
Ways to Create Space to Address your Feelings
Even though it might feel difficult to shift your priorities around, prioritizing your health and wellness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Some ways that you can do this include making time on your schedule to spend time outdoors, keeping notes of how you feel throughout the day, carving out “me time” in your schedule, planning a staycation, and asking yourself what you need to feel taken care of. In addition, you can practice mindfulness as a way to connect with yourself. This helps to interrupt a racing mind if you're feeling overwhelmed. You can also practice setting boundaries with others. Remember, it’s okay to say no. Overextending yourself won’t help anyone. Lastly, you can set a reminder on your phone that reminds you to take a second for yourself each day.
EmRes
Another way to help is to connect with outside support. Emotional Resolution with Cedric Bertelli uses EmRes to help you connect to the origin of a difficult emotion through your physical sensations and modulates the unwanted emotional response permanently. The goal of the sessions is to help you experience total and permanent resolution of any difficult and unwanted emotions. If you think this might help your situation, schedule a free consultation here.